in the beginning i had you
in the end, i only have me.
on this beach, hand in hand..
ashen waves
push against these shores,
pebbles roll,
froth gathers and dries,
my heart yearns.
rain splashes
on my skin,
gentle drops fall and form,
water from above and
water at my feet,
and my head hurts.
lightning forks
against this lead horizon,
thunder trembles,
the air is static,
my heart sees you.
eyes burn,
mouth sinks,
teeth chatter,
tongue speaks.
“this whole world is dark, with you
and without you.
there is no pain or peace
just you and me
on this sepia scape.”
ashen waves
push against the shore,
pebbles roll,
froth gathers and dries,
my heart sees you.
time goes by…
it’s getting easier each day
to push the pain you caused away
to see the stars and the sun are there for me
like you weren’t for me
it’s getting harder to miss you
the glass surrounding me has smashed
and i’m sweeping it away
just like you
Shocking words and secrets unveiled
Raised hands and covered face
We flit from love to hate
Like a sunwashed sky
To swirls of wind
And grey rain.
Red marks and swollen eyes
Screaming nothing at me
Like a madman.
Only i see the venom inside
Hidden like a cobra sleeping
You strike at my core
Killing me.
Don’t make a sound now girl
Can’t let them see you cry
I don’t wanna wake up to the sounds of sobs again
My heart is beating like a drum.
Don’t make a sound now boy
Can’t let them see you die
I don’t wanna come home to the sight of you crying again.
Hush child let your mother sleep.
Hush child let me soothe the shining tears
That gather in your eyes.
Your smile makes me weak
Just like that deep frown
On your face
No fear is left
Just cursed truth
And our breaking love
The moves he made
Ain’t in the man today
Chess piece falling into place
Dancing on my heart
Sinking in broken ice
Slicing skin and tearing at hair
These dark eyes seep red out
To play in the night air
The frozen air that rest heavy on my face and
My cobweb heart
Sinking in broken ice
Lips blue and fingers shaking
On the edge of fear and freedom
Heart needs persuasion
And these black eyes see it all
Dressed up in front of me
Tears fall and my mouth leers
Fingernails tear through
Red lines from wrist to elbow
Dripping out my love and hope
Filling me with resolute weakness
There’s no doubt here.
what are we now?
is there any empathy lying inside your mind
your heart envelopes this pain
swallows and regurgitates
spit at me spit words spit hate
this faceless creature is crying in me
he lashes out and digs in deep
crowing through sharp teeth
“love burns you and leaves you child”
who knew this truth and who refrained from saying?
i am weak and i fail and i need you
how can this hold you and twist you like this
my fingertips can’t grasp what you are digging in to
the fire won’t be suffocated and the rain will fall
we have sat together but now the fire won’t stop
and the rain keeps falling.
each time i hear you all i know is venom spitting venom pouring
veins filled and head filled
regret regret
no noise can say regret
my crying face or my fracturing heart
a thousand voices hear me
but not yours.
i wanna be drunk when i wake up…
drinking warm vodka with my head in my arms
sadness fades my looks and charms
feet feel numb against the wood floor
looking around i see there’s nothing to live for
